Some brief thoughts on Balding

The eye of the storm on the crown of my head has been growing steadily for well over a decade. The dusty blonde peninsula above my eyebrows has been narrowing for the same period as twin gulfs of skin on either side project ever further into my scalp. [Insert Florida joke. …hurricanes, peninsula, gulfs…]

I am balding according to the male pattern. Just like my dad and his dad. My already fine hair will continue to thin. Its dusty hue will only continue to gray. It’s going to carry on along this route unless I do something about it.

I’m not going to do anything about it.

I’m not going to grow my hair long to cover the bare sections. I’m not going to buzz it to lessen the effect of the thinnest areas. I’m not going to seek treatment via clinical or pharmaceutical means. I’m going to continue balding.

Please don’t hear this as an impassioned speech standing atop the burning rubble of the cosmetics industry I’ve just courageously toppled. I’m just standing with my hands in my pockets next to you in line for a soft pretzel. [And you’re wishing the balding chicken nugget of a man next to you would keep to himself…]

The market keeps telling us that we’re being assaulted by age. We’re being treated unfairly by time. We’ve been maligned, and we have good cause for indignation, by our changing bodies. Don’t settle for …the normal course of life.

No, our metabolisms aren’t churning away like they were in our early 20’s. No, our joints aren’t as supple and lithe as our football or snow skiing days. And no, our skin isn’t as smooth and taut as it was when we graduated college. And daily we’re told by myriad images that we should be offended and embarrassed about it.

Don’t be. It’s not offensive. It’s not embarrassing. It’s human. And if we’ll face it with grace and humility, it will be dignified and beautiful.

No, not the cheap version of beauty the market wants to sell us which typically amounts to youthful allure, seldom without prominent sexual undertones. Real beauty. The grace and dignity that come with maturity. The beauty that was once young but is no longer and has embodied that reality with quiet sincerity. When “hot” no longer describes it, but “poise” does. When wisdom and charm sparkle through eyes under heavy lids bordered by crows feet. When the hard angles and sharp lines soften to unruffled elegance. When the gray which began at the edges finally crowds out the color.

Gray hair is a glorious crown; it is found in the ways of righteousness. Proverbs 16:31

… sheesh baldy, kind of making a big deal of this aren’t you?

I don’t think so.

I am not at all tuned-in to the beauty trends and standards of the day. It’s not something I think about. I like Levis and Reeboks and solid colored t-shirts. I am joyfully married to my wife and happily a dad to three boys. I am nowhere near the market of attractiveness.

And when I come across an ad promising to regrow my hair or stop my balding, I feel the pull. I hear the siren song of the culture saying — no one wants to be bald! Ew! You don’t have to be gross and bald any more. Buy this. Don’t you want to be 24 forever? We can help.

But I’m not 24. I was once. I had a full head of hair then. My metabolism hadn’t let off the throttle yet. My joints were pretty good. And if I hurt myself at the gym it only took a couple weeks for the pain to go away.

Those days are gone. I’ve entered new days. The days of my 40’s. The days where young people think you’re old and old people think you’re young and you have a hard time knowing which camp you belong to (“how do you do fellow kids?” — Steve Buscemi on 30 Rock).

And I want to inhabit my 40s. I want to embody this space with poise and dignity. That doesn’t necessarily mean I have to hang it up and stop trying. But I do want to face and accept the realities of this space with earnestness and courage. Realities that are very different from those of my previous decades.

No, I don’t think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. I’m concerned for truthfulness, for genuine human flourishing, for wisdom, maturity, and an ability to face reality. And this is but one little tributary that connects to a large and rushing river of the bondage of approval.

We’re not being mugged by age. Anyone who tells you that you are is selling you something. It’s not at all abnormal. We’re following the course that every human has since we departed the Garden. No doubt, the degradation of our physical bodies results from the Fall. And yes, Christians look forward to a day when the effects of sin and corruption in our physical bodies are vanquished (heaven is an embodied reality!). But denying those effects clinically or pharmaceutically cannot truly remove them, it only masks them.

I want to live according to the actual, not the artificial. I want to face what is, not what once was and, for just 10 monthly installments, what could be again.

Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts. Psalm 90:12

Rather than trying to turn back the clock, let’s number our days carefully so that we develop wisdom in our hearts. Let’s earn every wrinkle and gray hair. May every one of them register our growth in wisdom and maturity.

That means faithful stewardship and Godly priorities. Let’s eat well. Let’s develop habits of saying “no” to unhealthy patterns and appetites. Let’s exercise, drink water, breathe fresh air, and feel sunshine on our faces. And let’s be where we are.

Let’s pursue a deepening relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and His people. Let’s savor His Word. And as we age, let’s make it our aim to pass on the good deposit. No, I don’t think I can say I’m officially “old” yet. But I refuse to be surprised and dismayed when I get there.

Whether we’re 24 and supple or 64 and stiff, let’s steward our bodies and souls faithfully. Let’s remember man’s approval is fleeting, but God’s adoption and thoroughgoing approval of those who are in Christ is everlasting.